So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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