Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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