And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
