So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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