you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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