With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
