you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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