This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How does it feel to date your dad?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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