Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
