Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
