someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
