He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
