if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
