he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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