: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
