my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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