It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
