he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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