Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There r osticjed everywhere
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
