the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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