thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
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Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.