you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
