I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
did i walk over a car last night?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
