That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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