Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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