I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
