Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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