You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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