East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
