i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
