i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
