could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
