My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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