East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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