Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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