Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
