watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
