Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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