No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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