I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
