I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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