a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
