After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
