Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
