Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize