she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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