But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
