i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
