Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
