i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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