this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
