After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
