i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
