My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
