Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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