i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I see more hoeing in ur future
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
