Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
