She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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