last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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