sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
